Valentine's Quiz for Her

Men – what can you say?!? How on earth did they get so much power? How did they make it this far with all that testosterone? Why do they always hog the remote? How come they always lose that other sock? So many confusing issue’s that must be faced in the everlasting search for that ‘perfect’ man, that ‘ideal’ relationship. Primeval, apelike and often childish, men just don’t seem to have a clue when it comes to women…

"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" fancy mumble jumble describing the vast differences between the sexes. How much do you think you know about the rules and codes of the dating game? Are you fully prepared to face the onslaught of Valentine’s Day? Do you know what to do, say, wear, buy, write???

Magazines like Cleo and Cosmo often have tests that rate "How happy are you?" or "Does he love you lots and lots?" so compared to these, our little Valentine's quiz should be a breeze. When you’ve finished just click at the bottom of the page for our ‘answers’. Well they’re not really ‘answers’ – they’re more like explanations that have no psychological foundation at all. It’s all just for fun you see. So relax, take a load off, and see how you rate...


Question 1: Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and your boyfriend/husband is the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present him with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. Your man would:

  1. Quickly take it to the nearest Police Station for safe keeping.
  2. Ceremoniously present it to the United Nations Secretary General.
  3. Open it up to try and figure out how it works.

Question 2: A perfect evening you think your partner would want on Valentine's Day is:

  1. Watching "Titanic" on video, twice, then dancing the night away to Celine Dion.
  2. Dinner with your parents.
  3. Spending a saucy evening in bed after a romantic dinner and hot bubble bath.
  4. Watch the Rugby on Sky, a dozen beers and delivered pizzas.

Question 3: When is it OK to throw away a pair of your man's veteran underwear? :

  1. When it has turned the colour of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for his legs.
  2. When it is down to eight loosely connected underpant molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
  3. It's never OK to throw away a man's underwear

Question 4: . In your opinion, your man's ideal pet is:

  1. A 'Penthouse' pet.
  2. A cat.
  3. A dog.
  4. A dog that eats cats.

Question 5: What does a Man really mean when he says: "I'm going fishing this weekend":

  1. "I need to get away with my friends in order to really appreciate the true value of your lovely company"
  2. "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid while staggering in a river/boat/wharf with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety"
  3. "I'm going fishing this weekend"

Question 6: What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? :

  1. He was being tested by a greater power
  2. He wanted them to 'really appreciate' the Promised Land when they finally got there
  3. He continually refused to ask for directions

Question 7: Which of these do you think your man would consider the most acceptable reason to hug another male? :

  1. If the other man was his father and at least one of them had a fatal disease
  2. If he's playing for the All Blacks in the World Cup Final against Australia and one of his teammate's scores the winning try in the last 90 seconds of the game
  3. When he's performing the Heimlich manoeuvre while repeatedly shouting: "I am just dislodging food trapped in this male's trachea! I am not in any way aroused!"

Question 8: On the evening of Valentine's Day, what do you wear to bed:

  1. A chastity belt.
  2. Flannel pajamas.
  3. Sexy lingerie.
  4. Chocolate sauce.

Question 9: Chromosomes: Men have...

  1. Two X chromosomes.
  2. Two Y chromosomes.
  3. One X and one Y chromosome.
  4. What's a chromosome...?
Ok gals. After all that let's take a look at the answers
and see how you rate as a woman of the world!


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