Question 1: You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy--you're watching a rugby game; she's reading the papers--when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say? :

1. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it
2. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope
3. That you can"t believe the coach benched Christian Cullen for the third and final test

Question 2: The first thing she actually wants you to do on Valentines Day morning is:

1. Make love.
2. Brush your teeth.
3. Give the duvet covers back.
4. Get up and make a cuppa tea or coffee for her.

Question 3: What does a Woman really mean when she says: "Do you like this recipe?"

1. "I spent all day making this food especially for you and I'd really value your opinion on it"
2. "If you want me to cook for you ever again you had better say that you like it"
3. "It's easy to make so you'd better get used to it"

Question 4: While at your partner's Grandfather's funeral you should NOT... :

1. Talk highly of the deceased and console her loved ones
2. Ogle your partner's younger female cousins while telling the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer
3. Intelligently reflect upon the fleeting transience of earthly life

Question 5: When is it okay to kiss another male? :

1. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded homophobic social conventions
2. When he is The Pope. (Not on the lips though!)
3. When he is your brother and you are the Don of a Mafioso empire and this is the only respectful way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed

Question 6: The perfect Valentine's present for your partner would be:

1. For you to leave the toilet seat down.
2. Your favourite Playstation game.
3. Flowers, chocolates and a romantic dinner.
4. A bus pass.

Question 7: What does a Woman really mean when she says: "You have to learn to communicate" :

1. "For a mutually beneficial long-term relationship we need to discuss the issues that we consider most important to us"
2. "Two grunts a conversation does not make my friend"
3. "I want you to listen when I complain"
4. "Just agree with me and you'll be fine"

Question 8: You have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her? :

1. You take her to a nice restaurant and wait until after dinner to tell her
2. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
3. Tell her what?

Question 9: Chromosomes: Women have...